Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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