My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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