I just saw a hot homeless man
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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