As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
