Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize
