I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
