Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
