I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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