Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
