just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
