somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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