I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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