Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
