Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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