Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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