Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
