okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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