it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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