my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
