yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize