you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
