11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Apparently you make a good broom.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize