they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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