Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Randomize
