This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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