Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
