Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
