WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
