Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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