Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
