If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I could fuck to npr.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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