you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
