i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
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you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
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Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The adults are the big ones right?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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