And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
