i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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