tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
