FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize