Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
