What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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