News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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