She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
