i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
