I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
