I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
