i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
