He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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