i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
