just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
