i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
