The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
