babies were throwing up all over the place
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
