I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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