Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
