Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
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I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
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