Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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