Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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