I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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