I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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