you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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